The end of…

Phew!  I made it to the end of the day.  Unfortunately I also made it to the end of my temper several times today and also I didn’t make it to the end of my to do list.  Actually, I didn’t make it to the beginning of it which was where it all went wrong.  I simply wasn’t organised enough today.  I’m so tired in the evenings at the moment that doing more than sitting here burying my head in cyber space on the lap top while Joth is watching TV is just beyond me but I have manage to do some preparation for tomorrow which should make it all better along with the fact that I have learnt from today (I hope).

I think the main problem today was that I wanted to give them more freedom to create their own projects (planning out the Warhammer scenery board they want to make and starting their lapbooks) but then I always want them to do it in a faster timescale than they want to.  I had planned (as usual on Wednesday) to get to Harberton in the afternoon and we had practise to do too.  Also, I was giving them my attention in order to keep them on track and so I couldn’t give the attention to Anton that I wanted to.  Bless him, he was just OK pottering but I do feel torn when I’m so taken up.  Consequently, every time they went off track (there seemed to be too much Warhammer surfing going on as part of their “research” in to scenery) I got impatient.  We did make some decisions in the end but even that was tricky as Oscar, as usual, has such ambitious plans that it “seems” initially impossible to carry them out.   I think though that we will find a way, and already, now he’s asleep and the house and I are calm again, I see his ambitious ideas as wonderful enthusiasm, and not the plan designed to test my patience and resources that for some reason I had decided it was earlier.

We got on to lapbooks after that and Lucas decided he wanted to do Dragons.  After a bit of research on the computer he created a beautiful title page.  Oscar was drawn in and wanted to do Dragons too so he spent ages drawing a wonderfully detailed picture on the cover and then after an hour pronounced it “no good” and wanted to have a new cover to start again.  Damn!  12pm and nothing to show for his morning – or so I felt at the time.

The car was still in the garage (having come back making more noises than it did before we spent the £750 on it last week.  Eeek) so we weren’t going to be able to make it to Harberton with all the friends we take so that took the time pressure off.  I just like to try to do everything but it really doesn’t always work for everyone.

The day got better in the end as we went to the library and they had some lovely books on Dragons that the kids (particularly Lucas) have taken a real interest in this evening.  I am beginning to see how this lapbook idea might work well.  It’s unrealistic to think that they will get the jist of it straight away.  I’m wondering if I should do my own alongside as otherwise I am bound to interfere with theirs too much.  Joth also picked up a 6ft x 3ft piece of plywood for the boys to start their scenery.

Oscar went to orchestra later on and I taught one pupil afterwards and then we did manage to finish all their practise before 9pm. I think it was better practise than they often do in the morning too so perhaps I need to let go of the feeling that we always need to do everything before lunch. Lucas particularly was playing beautifully tonight on the violin.  He concentrated so well on all the details and the good practise he has done recently is really paying off.

I was really looking forward to reading Anton some stories then but he wouldn’t clean his teeth so I said “No clean teeth, then no books and no feed,” (yes, I must read that non-coercive parenting book again – although I would like to find one that is aimed at toddlers rather than older children, particularly when there is more than one child involved).  To my surprise he giggled and switched the light off, lay down and went to sleep!   He just wanted me to cuddle him while he stroked my face and whispered strange incantations, sounding like a wise old sage.

And so, I’m just hoping I can go with the flow better tomorrow as I think over today and all the bits that felt difficult at the time but in retrospect don’t seem nearly so bad.

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