I always get such an awful “Back to School” feeling at this time of year even though for the last few years we haven’t been going to school of course.  Even then though, somehow just having to slot in to fitting in my violin teaching and work and the kids activities means that we have constrictions on our days.  See, I have been spoilt.  I also hate saying goodbye to summer and goodbye to all those lovely things I didn’t do that I wanted to this summer.  No, I mustn’t talk like that.  We did some lovely things and had three breaks away and sorted out the upstairs of the house so we did make the most of it.   I just wanted more sunny beach days and a tea party with Katina (we got as far as planning the food) and general merriment.  Not timetables, messy houses with no time to clean them, the phone going non stop, and work with no time to practise.

It’s been a difficult day.  Can you tell?

It was Oscar’s first day at school which would have been quite enough as it was but Lucas is also suffering with bad asthma (3 out of the 4 of them have had colds), Joth has had the most stressful day at work yet and I was also doing a gig that involved an afternoon rehearsal and evening concert with all the dashing around to feed Dante in between that that involves.   It’s been horrible.

It started OK with getting Oscar off to school.  He was obviously quite nervous but he handles it all ever so well and just gets on with it.  I’m really proud of him.  He has such optimism and enthusiasm about him.  They’re very lucky to have him!   I do feel though that we are sacrificing him to school and I hope it is worth it for him in the end.   I worried last night after he was in bed that I haven’t been upbeat enough about him going to him (not that I’ve been negative but I just haven’t tried to make it sound exciting) so I went up and tried to talk it up so he would go in really positively today and then I went downstairs and worried that I was going overboard and he would just get disappointed.  The trouble is that you have such influence at this age (not for long I’m sure) that even what you don’t say has an effect.

Anton also wanted to “go to school” of course.  I’m not sure why he had to have two ties.

Anyway, I went to drop him off, starting off as I didn’t want to go on with wet straggly hair from the shower, but it takes ages to dry and I wanted to take him.  The headmaster was there to welcome parents but I slunk past thinking that he wouldn’t want to chat to me.  Pathetic really how I still react to people in authority.  I don’t think of myself as at all shy but find I try not to treat people in authority differently so hard that I treat them differently.  Silly.

I came back with the intention of giving Luc a really calm morning.  He got a sudden bad croupy cough attack while we were away at Hemel last Tuesday and he suddenly said he wanted to go to hospital because he couldn’t breathe.  The cough sounded awful but the hospital said there was no sign of wheeze and his stats were fine so we came away.  Since though, his asthma has got worse and he’s not been good at all today.  I’ve got back from work to find he’s breathing too fast and I sitting here once again wondering if I should wake him up and get him in to hospital.  I have given him some steroids and will keep an eye.  I hate the fact he has asthma.  I hate seeing him so white and drawn and trying to soldier on.  We made mystery muffins today (as part of my trying-to-be-the-perfect-mum-of-school-kid-with-homebaking-ready-for-tea) but Luc couldn’t manage to do that much.  Anton feels louder when Luc needs to be quieter of course.  It felt like quite a challenge to meet their needs today along with Dante who still has a cold.

Joth had an awful day.  The orchestra were trying to get their schedule out in one day and the newest part of the programme had two errors in.  Joth will have it fixed within 24hrs but it was still very stressful.  He didn’t even come out to eat lunch.

I had to go to my rehearsal leaving Joth still distracted and the three children to look after.  He also had to go and collect Oscar then bring Dante to me in Totnes for me to feed in the rehearsal break.  Then I came home to do tea and feed Dante before going back for the concert while Joth bathed Dante and Anton and then brought them in for me to feed Dante again in the interval of the concert!   Phew.  Joth’ll have to work as much as he can over the weekend to make up for me working too of course.

Oscar seemed in pretty good spirits after his first day.  He said they had to fill in their planners for most of the day which was boring and that they had school photos done.  He sat next to someone called Liam and he bought Liam a pizza and Liam gave him a chocolate bar.  He gave the day 7/10.  I asked if there were things he was going to need and he said blue tack and a stopwatch.  How bizarre!   I’ve also found the most stupid rule so far – “Pupils must keep their jumpers on at all times and ask permission in a lesson if they are hot and want to remove their jumper.”  What’s that about?!!

Oscar certainly had lots of his usual energy and fun about him tonight but I sense a very slight feeling of disappointment when he talks about his school day, as if he thinks it could all be so much better.  I think he’s expecting inspiration and excitement all the way.  I can envisage his enthusiasm for the lessons (the best bit as he says!) dying down as they pile on the work.  Four days a week would help, or just mornings with optional afternoons clubs or something for those parents that need their children to be in school 5 days a week.  Oh, dream on Lins.  Let’s just join the rat pack and look up again in a few years and wonder where it all went.

I just want to make sure I do all the right things to give school the best chance to work for him.  He (and Joth) forgot to pick up his games kit today so I have to work out how we can pick it up and label it in time for the first games lesson which is on Monday.

So we got through it but I hope tomorrow is better and that Luc starts to improve or we shall be going to the hospital.

And they forgot to eat the special after school muffins.



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  1. (((Lins))) I so remember that first school day, it’s horrible. I’m used to it now but still don’t like it!

    I bet no-one actually does ask to take their jumper off – do they? I have another TBG friend coming for dinner tonight (Y10) so I’ll ask!

    So agree about the ideal world – being able to register for courses you want and leave when you don’t want to be there – but it’ll never happen like that, dream on indeed.

    Anyway. If the disappointment continues you can always take him out again, can’t you?

  2. lindsay349

    Thanks Sarah. He’s Churston though rather than TBG but I’d be interested to know if they have a rule like that one!

  3. ((((Lins)))) When Violet went to school I felt like Sarah was the only person who could understand how I felt. At least you’ve got both of us 😉 Hope school gets more engaging and I’m sure you’ll feel more settled about it soon. It was very odd to suddenly find myself as a school mum, labelling PE kit and so on, after so many years of not having to think about such stuff. I probably took longer to adjust than V, lol.

    How’s Lucas today?

    • lindsay349

      I’m so sorry Alison – I missed this comment somehow. Yes, I’m really glad to have you two around! It’s great knowing how well it’s worked out for you two. It certainly does feel very strange at the moment.
      I’ve been trying to read all your words of wisdom on your blog but can’t see to find it atm? Am I looking in the wrong place?!

  4. coming to this late, definitely sounds like you could do with a clone or two!

    I think rules for the sake of rules speak more about the school than anything else does – asking permission to take off a jumper implies that they are overruling the child’s self determination and control and there can’t be any educational reason for that, can there?

    Did the muffins get eaten in the end?

    • lindsay349

      Yes that’s exactly it. It’s obviously not about education but about control. It seems as if no one takes any notice of that particular rule but that is not much consolation. Yuck.

      … and yes the muffins got eaten. I ate more than my share I must admit.

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